'Breaking' News
This just in...(or: Why I Have Been MIA the Past Two Weeks)
Reported/written by those who visited me in the hospital.
New York City, April 17, 2005'
The Big Apple was under a cloud today as the city's residents waited by their radios for reports on the prognosis for Rachel Marshall, the 23-year-old whose tragic fall has captured the sympathy of Jews and Gentiles alike. Marshall was the latest victim of toxic heel syndrome, a condition responsible for myriad near-fatalities of women from ages 13-28.
According to doctors at Lennox Hill Hospital in Manhattan, Marshall sustained severe bone and joint damage which will require extensive surgical reconstruction. The reconstruction operation will take place in the hospital's renowned Moishe Garber surgery lab under the guidance of Drs. Ghandi and King as well as seven underpaid interns. Assisting the highly qualified surgical staff will be two nursing attendants that were formally part of the Lenox Hill Cafeteria Staff.
At this time the doctors had little detail to add about the injury, but Dr. Ghandi did mention that Ms. Marshall "was wearing top rate underwear. We will have no problem operating on her." A visitor leaving Ms. Marshall's room stated, "Despite the drab decor of the room and not being fed, she's in amazingly good spirts."
On a much brighter note, Ms. Marshall's neighbor is set to depart in the morning. To celebrate her departure Ms. Marshall will be hosting a gala to benefit the newly formed Ankle Awareness Association. The attire will be hospital gown optional, and the event will be catered by the Lenox Hill Cafeteria Staff.
The crowds are rooting for a quick transformation as Ms. Marshall prepares for her metamorphosis from a one-ankle diva to the hopping and skipping two-legged Ankle Awareness president. "Get well soon, Ms. Marshall! We LOVE you!" is all you can hear as you poke your head out of the Lenox Hill Hospital window in room 9619.
Reported/written by those who visited me in the hospital.
New York City, April 17, 2005'
The Big Apple was under a cloud today as the city's residents waited by their radios for reports on the prognosis for Rachel Marshall, the 23-year-old whose tragic fall has captured the sympathy of Jews and Gentiles alike. Marshall was the latest victim of toxic heel syndrome, a condition responsible for myriad near-fatalities of women from ages 13-28.
According to doctors at Lennox Hill Hospital in Manhattan, Marshall sustained severe bone and joint damage which will require extensive surgical reconstruction. The reconstruction operation will take place in the hospital's renowned Moishe Garber surgery lab under the guidance of Drs. Ghandi and King as well as seven underpaid interns. Assisting the highly qualified surgical staff will be two nursing attendants that were formally part of the Lenox Hill Cafeteria Staff.
At this time the doctors had little detail to add about the injury, but Dr. Ghandi did mention that Ms. Marshall "was wearing top rate underwear. We will have no problem operating on her." A visitor leaving Ms. Marshall's room stated, "Despite the drab decor of the room and not being fed, she's in amazingly good spirts."
On a much brighter note, Ms. Marshall's neighbor is set to depart in the morning. To celebrate her departure Ms. Marshall will be hosting a gala to benefit the newly formed Ankle Awareness Association. The attire will be hospital gown optional, and the event will be catered by the Lenox Hill Cafeteria Staff.
The crowds are rooting for a quick transformation as Ms. Marshall prepares for her metamorphosis from a one-ankle diva to the hopping and skipping two-legged Ankle Awareness president. "Get well soon, Ms. Marshall! We LOVE you!" is all you can hear as you poke your head out of the Lenox Hill Hospital window in room 9619.
posted by Rachel at 7:33 PM
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